This space has been much neglected over recent years as my life took me in different directions and writing kept falling down the list. Also, I have felt that I had less to ‘say’. At the end of 2019 I made the decision to retire and had every intention to writing again. Within weeks lockdown happened and I was back to work to earn money to help keep my family afloat. I was already running a large community project called Stitched Stories and it accidentally took over most of 2020 including designing and making textile kits. This has now become my ‘job’ and none of that was planned. Through my etsy store I have managed almost 1200 orders in that time as well as continuing to support the community aspects of Stitched Stories. Then, in January I launched an academy with a new online friend, Charlotte, and we now offer online learning through the Stitched Stories academy pages. You can safely say that retirement didn’t quite go to plan.
With family members about to return to work the pressure on me is lessening a little. The changes I experienced in lockdown were not all bad. Some were awful though but let’s not dwell on those. What I did notice though is how much I loved being at home. How much I loved spending time each and every day quite alone. We have a quiet house generally so it is often the case we move about the house doing our own things. But I also have my own personal places. Looking back I can see that, before lockdown, I had been edging away from people. I had stopped visiting shops and leaving the island had become less of a thing as well. Just before lockdown we managed to get a converted van and have had several wonderful trips exploring Scotland in it and we hope for that to continue. But I can’t remember the last time I went to Glasgow, for example.
As the world starts to turn again and folk get out of lockdown I don’t think I will be joining them. I have found an inner contentment about being home and working online as I need to. The beauty about working online is that you can, broadly, unplug it! I have always loved quietness and my world of meditation has been the one thing that has always kept me sane even in the most troubling of times. So, for now and forever long it feels right I will be remaining at home venturing out only occasionally. I dare say there will be folk that will struggle to understand this and we are all different. What I would say is that when I was 14 I had a very vivid dream. I saw myself as an older person living a quiet life very much retreated from the world beyond my own space. I am fortunate enough to have a very supportive family who understand my choices and, for that, I will be forever grateful. In particular, a husband, who gets me and always has done. According to him he has seen this coming for a while. Solitude is an interesting concept that I am looking forward to exploring further and, finally, I have something to ‘say’.