I will not lie it has been an extremely tough few months but today I finally took a step in the right direction. In my newly electrically charged garden studio I sat in the warmth and light and gently sewed. I do not lie when I say that I could feel the life blood returning and I looked at the photo of my beloved late Grandma and smiled. I am a mum and a sewer and I am not sure I am much else excluding my Buddhist faith. More importantly I am not sure I want to be much else. It takes all my efforts to do these things so, for now, that is where my centre lies. For those of you with grown up and almost grown up children you will understand how important our support is at this time. But when I am not needed I will be seen tramping across the garden to the studio to gently sew.
There is a lot to be said for ‘gently’. We are all in such a rush these days and I am left wondering where we are rushing to? Since being ill I have hardly earned a penny but we have not missed the money so why are we both working so hard? Pete has a new job which he is really enjoying and keeps on and on at me not to think about earning money and just be a mum who sews.
Those of you who know me well will now that our ‘Encounters with Threads’ project will happen but for the first time in my life I am not pushing it through at lightening pace. I have started the process with some great success but I am setting it aside for a couple of weeks so that I can re-find my sewing. There is part of me missing if I don’t sew.
I see far less people than I used to because being around people seems to exhaust me. I have always had such a large circle of friends but that is no longer something I can maintain. I do miss those friends that I haven’t seen for ages but then there is always facebook!
So my life has changed dramatically since the turn of the year but what I have managed to maintain is my daily walking and I feel super proud of myself. Some days I can barely pull myself out of my chair but it doesn’t stop me walking. There is a lot to be said for a wee bit of determination or is that bloody-mindedness?